ARE YOU A MOM TO A PRETEEN BOY BETWEEN THE AGES OF 10 - 12?
Perhaps it’s a strange, new body odor or a stray armpit hair or two.
Maybe your son’s once squeaky soprano sounds more like a baritone.
Are his showers lasting a suspiciously long time, or do you only get rare glimpses of him behind slammed doors and a major “tude”?
Puberty presents many changes, not just physical but also emotional, cognitive, and social. These changes are normal and much easier for both of you to navigate when you learn more about them!
It’s inevitable. “The Son Puberty Talk.”
Did you task your child’s dad or another trusted adult male with giving your son “the talk”?
Or did you hear that they were covering puberty for that one class period
in 5th grade and thus wipe your hands of it?
Are you just hoping and praying that they figure out what they need to know
on their own like we had to?!
All the prayers in the world won’t help your child in this current cultural climate.
With porn in their pockets (AKA phones) and the ability to search a question at their fingertips, our voices need to be first and loudest, especially concerning the topics of consent, sexually explicit content on the internet, body parts and functions, healthy relationships, and yes, even S-E-X.
And let's be real...our teens are smart and can get around apps that are supposed to protect them, especially using VPNs.
That’s why I’ve developed the Mom and Son Puberty Workshop.
Sure, some Dads are totally on board with having these conversations. But in my experience, most dads offer their sons a few tips about thinking with their real brain and not the “brain” between their legs and might give a cautionary tale or two about wearing “protection”. We moms know the young men we’re trying to raise and send out into the world need and deserve MORE.
In this workshop, I’ll spend the first 2 hours giving you and your child an “owner’s manual” for their body parts and how they work. We’ll talk about the changes they might experience in puberty and how to manage them (while reminding them they are normal). We’ll have a shame-free conversation about erections: how they happen, when they happen, and strategies for managing erections.
We’ll talk about girl bodies and menstruation and sex. We’ll talk about crushes and healthy relationships, and consent.
And then, the final hour will be a moms-only discussion about things like hook up culture, masturbation, and pornography with realistic tips you can use immediately on how to initiate these talks.
Are you thinking: “Yeah, but my son would never agree to participate in a workshop like this?”
Mine neither, but I love them too much to keep them comfortable at the expense of having misinformation (or no information) shape their puberty and growing-up experience.
They don’t like their 6-month dental cleanings or annual physicals either. Tough cookies.
What Mom's Are Saying!
Carrie’s class is a must for those of us parenting young boys. After witnessing what little surface-level information my oldest son was given during his school’s fifth-grade puberty education class, I wanted to do better for him and my younger sons. Fast forward two years, and Carrie, per usual, comes to the rescue with a class that has given our family a springboard for other conversations about “all the things”. Her style of delivery is fun, interactive, and real. She kept my 10-year-old engaged over zoom and gave me a sense of peace knowing that I knew exactly what information he was receiving and how we could keep the conversation going for years to come. Carrie…you have given my boys and me the gift of open communication, and for that, I thank you!
I thoroughly enjoyed the workshop to discuss puberty with my 10-year old son, his friends and their moms! I sincerely appreciated the way Carrie presented an overwhelming amount of information in ways that were manageable and appropriate. I have been bugging Carrie for a program like this for young boys ever since she led a class for my daughter because I knew she would provide information in ways my husband wouldn't (at least in the same way that I thought topics should be covered!) The information and topics covered by Carrie are all important and she does it in such a dynamic and welcoming way that everyone is able to keep up and absorb. Plus, this is a shared experience--not only for a mother and her son(s), but also moms bonding with other moms and the boys bonding with other boys. I have zero regrets about paying for this opportunity and thank Carrie for normalizing puberty and what's to come for our little men!
Imagine a health expert helping you and your son navigate important and shame-free discussions about puberty. Plus you'll learn tips for the "talks" that you can use right away.
Sleep better at night knowing you took an active role in helping to create an informed and educated soon-to-be adult.
Kids are asked all the time, “how many of you had parents who sat down with you and had the ‘difficult’ conversations?”
Let your child be the one who raises their hand proudly instead of the ones who share the cautionary tales of being left entirely in the dark during one of the most confusing times of their lives.
So what will we discuss during the Mom and Son portion of the workshop?
I’m so glad you asked!
First, we start off as a group, meaning both mom and son join in the conversation on the following topics:
What is puberty and the six physical changes.
Puberty is the process when a child's body changes into an adult body. While there are social and cognitive changes, the ones that create the most anxiety are the 6 physical changes: height, weight, voice changes, body hair, body odor and acne.
Managing BO, Pimples, Hair (Oh my!)
Help your child manage changes like hair growth, body odor, and acne by creating a hygiene management plan. Maybe that includes more regular showers, a face washing routine, or even a discussion about hair: whether to keep it or remove it.
The Male Reproductive System
Just like your car comes with an owner's manual, your body should too. In this part of the workshop we will use 3D models and visual images to show which parts you own and what function they serve in your body.
Everything either of you ever wanted to know about erections, tied up with a little bow and skipping all the shame that usually surrounds this topic. We'll talk about how they happen and why (it's your body practicing to be an adult body). We'll talk about daytime erections and how to control them as well as wet dreams and why they are totally normal.
Female Reproductive System and Menstruation
We'll take a quick detour from the conversation on male bodies to do a quick anatomy review for the other half of the population that owns a girl body. Learn how people with a uterus get a period (and why) and how we can be good supporters.
What is Sex?
In all my years of teaching, this might be the most commonly asked anonymous question. Sex can mean a lot of things to a lot of people. It can be touching yourself for pleasure or joining with a consenting partner. But most of the time we are referring to putting an erect penis into the vagina. It's one way babies can be made but also a pleasurable thing you can do in a healthy relationship. Just because your body is capable of producing a baby doesn't mean you're ready to be a parent!
Crushes and Consent
What is a crush and how to know you're ready to explore some of those feelings. Actually you've been "test driving" your relationships your whole life, but we'll sped some time talking about what it means to be in a healthy relationship with another person and why seeking verbal and non-verbal consent is so importnat.
Body Image and Self Esteem
Every body is on a slightly different journey to reach a similar destination: adulthood. Some people start puberty early and some later and some in the middle. We'll do a body gratitude exercise to remind ourselves that all bodies are different and all bodies are worthy of love.
Then we'll excuse your sons to have a more serious conversation about the following topics:
Discussing pornography with your preteen
How and when to discuss this topic (and why we NEED to). What to do if you've already found it on their phone.
Consent needs to happen before and during each occurence and it needs to happen each and every time.
Touching oneself for pleasure is healthy and normal and can help you advocate for sexual pleasure as an adult. How to bring this up (punn intended) in a shame-free way.
Each family has its own values but we can all agree that sex is most enjoyable in a loving and trusting relationship. How to let your kids now this in a world that celebrates hook-ups.
Here's the most common questions asked by moms like you:
What is the best age for this workshop?
Can I bring multiple siblings to one class?
Do you offer refunds?
Will this workshop be recorded?
What technology do I need in order to participate in this virtual workshop?
I’m not sure if I’m ready for my child to hear about sex-related topics. How will those be discussed?
My child’s puberty experience is not typical of other preteens in the class (due to endocrine disorders, gender identity, physical differences, etc) . Is this still the best place for them?
My 10+ years as a Women’s Health Physical Therapist made me an expert in female bodies. But having 2 sons smack dab in the middle of puberty forced me to learn about male bodies too! Determined to have productive conversations absent of shame or blame, I began to study puberty in a whole new light and this course was born! The fact that you attend with your son establishes you as an expert on the material too and shows your child that you are an "ask-able adult." The unique adults-only information at the end of the workshop is invaluable in continuing the conversations that will help them to become sexually healthy adults in the future. I know puberty best; you know your child best; together we're an unstoppable team!